Claustrophobic
Derek is beginning his freshman year in college. Wanting to expand his social horizons, he had signed up for a random roommate assignment when it came time to register for housing. Now, several months after making that decision, he felt a little nervous as he moved the first boxes into his room. However, his roommate, Joey, had arrived before him, and he was quickly relieved to discover that Joey seemed “normal.”
The two guys got dinner together the first night, and got to know each other a bit. Joey seemed friendly and didn’t have any obvious hygiene issues, so Derek felt like it was a good match! He had heard lots of roommate “horror stories,” and was thankful that he would not be added to that list.
After the first couple weeks of classes, Derek signed up for the student government and quickly found a group of friends through that organization. Joey, however, was less proactive—he seemed to limit his free time to surfing the Internet, and began to make comments about feeling lonely and homesick. Derek felt bad for the guy, so he invited Joey to hang out in his new friend group as an opportunity to socialize and meet more people.
As Joey began to tag along more and more, Derek started to realize that their personalities didn’t exactly mesh. Little things that Joey would do or say would rub Derek the wrong way, and he could tell that others in the group shared that sentiment. It began to be an obligation to invite Joey along to things, and nobody felt that they could completely be themselves with Joey around. Derek felt responsible for creating this tricky dynamic, and felt that he had to do something about it.
Torn between being a good friend and feeling claustrophobic, Derek was faced with a tough decision. Should he stick it out for the rest of the year for Joey’s sake? Or, should he be honest and tell Joey that sometimes he wants a little space to hang out with his friends by himself?
Photo by maverick253 available under a Creative Commons license on Google Images.
Sep 17, 2012